I don’t know where to begin.  I don’t know what to say. 

Everything is a jumble of overwhelming emotions crashing into one another.  I’ve tried to reason it out.  I’ve tried to understand…but come back to the same place.  The beginning of a painful circle.  I write blindly as my heart bleeds across the paper…and I realize…

Everything I’ve known to be true and good and hopeful.  Gone.   The Hand of Trust can no longer be held, and I’ve learned the painful lesson.

From this day forward I can no longer look back on the past.  The future is what molds me now and every day is defining who I am.  And who I will be with. 

As he now has given me reason to walk away.  Hat or no hat, it no longer matters.  As I cannot hide.